1. Deal With Offence or It’ll Deal With You
Develop thick skin, but keep a tender heart.
Some people have tender skin and a thick heart. In my observation, the primary cause of a calloused heart is an offence that wasn't dealt with.
Someone at some point will offend you, really offend you.
What's true of life is this:
You CANNOT control what happens to you, but you CAN control how you respond to it.
And your response changes everything!
Deal with offence or it'll deal with you.
2. The State of Your Room is The State of Your Life.
I used to agree with this strongly.... until I had 3 kids! LOL. Now I just see the insanity of it. But I do agree with the sentiment that how we handle a little is how we'll handle a lot.
How you steward your mess is an indication of how you’d steward the mass; big is just a matured small.
Sometimes I ask God for more until in His mercy He reminds me that I'm not doing a great job of looking after my now.
People often think that they'll be better in another relationship, better in another job or even in another location. But here's the issue with that erroneous thinking,
"Where we go, there we are." Thomas à Kempis
This is because the problem is rarely external, it's often internal.
Our situation is a reflection of where we're at.
3. Who You Run With is Where You Run Too.
The church is not there to give people friends. I know this sounds harsh but stay with me. Some people expect the church to be a place that provides them with a friendship circle but that is where disappointment is found. Rather, the church helps make me the kind of person that can be a good friend and cultivate environments where friendships can flourish.
Friendships aren't found; they're forged.
They're forged through pain and joy, grief and adventure.
John Rohn famously said,
“You are the average of the five closest people in your life."
Who are your five? Or, if we model ourselves relationally on Jesus, who are our three? Who’s our circle?
The people closest to you, (outside of your immediate family), are determining the kind of person you're becoming and the direction that you are heading in. No other factor in life is stronger in determining your progress than the people you're running with.
I remember writing a list of people in my early twenties who I wanted to be friends with. That might sound ridiculous to you, but 2 of those people on that list have been a constant source of encouragement and inspiration for over 12 years. Write your list, pray for them and ask God for them, but then you ask them for coffee!
4. Bend But Don’t Break.
I tweeted Pastor Rick Godwin recently asking what leadership advice he'd give to a younger leader. He said,
"Develop resilience. The ability to take a hit and snap back. Bend but don't break!"
Our plans will not work out. Our strategies will fall short. We'll go through failure but this is where we need to be a bit more bamboo and little less brick!
Maybe what happens to us, really happens for us because God cares more about who we're becoming than what we're doing!
“Everyone has a plan until they’re punched in the face.” Mike Tyson
I'm thankful for the punches in the face I've had (metaphorically speaking, of course) that made me wise up, look up and loosen the grip on the stuff I so readily relied on!
5. Be High Capacity and Low Maintenance.
Imagine being so entitled you thought leadership was more about a position than about responsibility. Phew! I'm so glad the majority of Christendom is developing disciples, not divas; servants, not superstars.
These kind of people don't cost their leaders or teams emotional energy, they don't cause more work, they don't add more stress. That's because they are low maintenance and high capacity.
High-capacity and low-maintenance leaders are always learning and wanting to grow. They have learned how to steward their heart and see a set-back as a set-up.
High capacity, low maintenance > low capacity, high maintenance
If you moan and complain every time you meet your leader you might be high maintenance. 👀
If you are offended often you might be high maintenance. 👀
If you're always stressed you might be low capacity. 👀
Titles breed entitlement.
I love the familiar leadership quote,
"If serving is beneath you, leading is beyond you"
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